Take alcoholism. The most effective treatment today for alcoholism is AA. (there are many thing about aa that kind of creep me out, but it is a fact that it has the highest success rate of any course of treatment that has been studied). AA works almost entirely through social influence. But a key component of its social influence is talking about alcoholism as a disease, as something separate from an individual which can be done away with. Talking about alcoholism as a moral failing simply does not help. If you are morally bankrupt, what are the odds of your morally bankrupt self digging your way out of that hole? If you have a disease, though, maybe you can find a cure.
Similarly, as a child, people yelling at me that I was a lazy bum just didn't help. My primary reaction was resentment, not shame. Though I had shame, too. Its just not so easy to motivate oneself when feeling like a shameful failure. When I started thing of laziness as a behavior that I happened to have, rather than something that was intrinsic to myself, (i.e., I am being lazy right now, what can I do about it, as opposed to I am lazy), I started being able to have more control over it. Not perfect control, of course, but much more than I had.