A few years back, when our favorite family dog died, I wrote about it. As much as it hurt (and it was crushing), something that stood our for me was our choice to euthanize. We found a vet who had a specialist end-of-life practice. She offered hospice care for terminally ill animals, and in-home euthanasia services for when the time comes. She spent over an hour with us in our home, with Rubu, listening to our stories about him and helping us get ready. She then took him for cremation, and hand-delivered the ashes back to us. She was on a mission, a wonderful mission.

And I keep thinking that's how I want to go... not in a hospital, wasting money on last-ditch efforts. I want to be at home, surrounded by the people who love me, listening to them tell each other stories about me. And when it's time, I want a doctor to deliver a painless injection to stop my heart and let me go in peace.

There's something greatly fucked up about our society when we help our dogs die with more dignity than we do ourselves.

(fwiw, Rubucac died of hemangiosarcoma, a dog-specific cancer. It attacks the cells lining the inside of blood vessels, causing them to grow random, structurally deficient ways. It usually starts in the spleen, and spreads very quickly. The new blood vessels rupture, causing internal bleeding. By the time it is discovered (usually due to weakness from the bleeding, or often, the dog just dying right on the spot), it has already spread throughout the body due to circulation. Dogs only last a few weeks at best before they die of internal bleeding, heart attack, or stroke, and treatment options are invasive and largely ineffective. I'm glad humans don't get it.)