I spent over a decade in the military. I have issues with the military industrial complex. I have issues with a lot of the leadership. But I respect the people who need the tools you work on and wouldn’t want to see their lives put in jeopardy. I can understand not wanting to spend your whole life in the DOD world. If you want to focus on other things, move industries, I did, but don’t feel ashamed while you’re in and don’t let others make you feel ashamed either. I respect the job you’re doing. Thank you.
I highly recommend you read "war is a racket" written by General Smedley Butlers.
I also want to point out that I don't blame anyone who's working for the US military, unless they're like Dick Cheney or something, I understand that people need to make a living, and that a lot might even buy into the big ol' patriotic lie.
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Bright_Shining_Lie [2] https://www.amazon.com/About-Face-Odyssey-American-Warrior/d... [3] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Best_and_the_Brightest [4] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_History_of_the_Decline_and...
You bear 100% of the responsibility for accepting a DoD grant. You can't absolve yourself of some nebulous amount of responsibility because of who's writing the check.
You know... we're all waiting patiently for that Star Trek future that awaits... oh and some semblance of world peace, that too ;)
Instead of "I'm working on stealth technology for unmanned carpet bombers" say "I work on next gen nanomaterials that can bend a broad range of wavelengths around objects - to make them invisible - like the invisibility cloak in harry potter".
Whatever. Frame your reality the way you want it to appear. You're not testifying before a court. Leave the things you dont want to say out.
Just make it sound exciting. Amuse yourself. Don't be apologetic.
If you are ashamed of your DoD connection, what have you done about getting alternate funding ?
On the other hand, the topic you're researching may have an ethical component in terms of its impact in the world. But identification and evaluation of that is completely independent of your funding source. You could be funded completely privately and still need to examine ethics issues.
As for feeling guilty, why? Are they doing bad things with your work?