Ask HN: Dead man coding.
Disclaimer: No this post is not a joke. I used a different account from my normal one for obvious reasons.
So I guess my question is, if you were in my situation would would you do; one last project? or something else?
Disclaimer: No this post is not a joke. I used a different account from my normal one for obvious reasons.
So I guess my question is, if you were in my situation would would you do; one last project? or something else?
There's no way at all that you can imagine what you might do with your life, what you might experience, what you might give other people.
I'm not religious at all, but if there's anything in the universe that qualifies as a miraculous gift, it's your (you, I'm talking to you, dmc) life.
The universe would be a lesser place without you.
See what happens.
If you haven't talked to a professional (psychologist or psychiatrist) lately, go (or have a friend or relative on your behalf) seek one out and make an appointment before you do anything else. If you explain your situation on the phone, they may be able to squeeze you in for an appointment right away.
You'd be surprised how powerful the urge to live, despite daily I-can't-take-this-anymore frustrations, is when you've got a child's life to look forward to.
Let woman-kind make that decision, no reason you should pre-empt them.
http://www.newsweek.com/2007/07/22/sick-single-seeking-same....
The site mentioned is http://prescription4love.com/. Incidentally, this seems like a lucrative yet underserved niche in the dating market.
It can happen.
Trust me on this one, it's not logical, but hey, love just isn't...
I think I'd want to be pretty damned certain before I gave up something I valued, let alone my life.
Have you ever changed your mind about something important before? Wondered how the hell you could believe what you did a year ago? I have, over and over. Everyone has - most people get the chance to realise they were foolish.
Out there somewhere, right now, there is someone who is already there, and who would be glad to be able to show you whatever it is they know and you don't. Go find that person. Speak to someone who knows from experience. You have all the time in the world for your project once you've found that person.
In the meantime, spare me 21 minutes and watch this: http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.h... You, like most everyone else, are not qualified to judge your future happiness.
You can always die later if you still want to.
But, since Im not in your situation, I can only guess what I'd do.
Also, keep your chin up, and don't be afraid to ask for help. Meaning, if you wanted to change the world, get to it and ask everyone around you to help you do it. What do you have to lose?
http://gut.bmj.com/content/55/1/136.extract http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2009/3/16/3408/66053 http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2006/4/30/91945/8971
Perhaps you need to re-invent yourself. If that means taking the bag, do it. Think of this as a new life. Shed that old layer, leave that guy behind. Think beyond code, beyond .com. Life is precious, really. There are women out there who do go beyond physical appearance.
You need some mental health therapy too. Your confidence needs a boost and that will surely help. Where is your family in all this? Bond more with some close friends, relatives, family.
Have you tried any alternative, less-intrusive, natural remedies? I can tell from personal experience they can be a ray of light, more often than you think.
I cant take the bag. I already have confidence issues and girls kind of think I am a loser. I cant imagine what they would think then (yes i now that is shallow and unreasonable logic.)
I think it's a lot of pressure to put on yourself to feel like you wasted your life so young. Give yourself a break.
How about this: take the bag, for now. If life with the bag does end up sucking, you can always find a way out later. But leave your options open and give it a try?
You are a hacker. Take the bag and hack your away out of it. This your last project (or not) and you are more motivated than any other doctor to solve it. It will maybe require you to go very far from your comfort zone, deep into genetics, tissue engineering or molecular biology. So what?
Your solution may benefit thousands. Maybe this is your mission in life.
Go find some women who are not so shallow as to judge a man by his limits, get online dating, it's worked for some my friends.
And stop worrying about what people think of you.
Until then, put the computer down and go outside. Look around, what seems interesting? Find out how to get involved and do it.
There must be support groups around this: find out how other people deal with the bags and the impact it has on their lives. Don't read blogs & books: go out and actually talk to people face to face.
http://www.revolutionhealth.com/conditions/digestive/crohns-...
As for the confidence issues, go out and meet people. From experience, shallow people are everywhere, so go past that find people who are not shallow.
Yes that's right: You're still a little kid, intellectually and emotionally. Don't worry, we all were.
By killing yourself now, you're denying yourself all of that potential knowledge because you figure your not happy with the 30% you already have. That's a fool's game. You'll really understand how little you think you know in the next few years.
You know how you look back at high school and see that all the cool people that got all the chicks and never went to class haven't really done much in their lives since? Yeah, well they never do. The girls that think you're a loser now change their tunes quite dramatically as they hit 30 and realize that those loser qualities you had are actually pretty attractive.
It gets better my friend. So much so that me, at only 35, with a wife and two kids looks at this bag and says, "Meh, doesn't seem too bad, what's he going on about?" I know my wife wouldn't leave and my kids wouldn't care. You're going to find those people.
Of course, that assumes you stay alive to experience that.
If you'd like to make a difference, try to doing at least one good deed every day, a mitzvah. Anonymously if possible. It's harder than it sounds, and will get harder as your physical options become more limited.
Those of us with longer time horizons consider life a balancing act: mixing work, fun, education, beauty, family, community, religion, health. Since you're budgeting your time, consider what sort of mix you'd like. It's your story to write. Maybe 60 art museums in 60 days? Or go someplace where they don't speak much English (France and Spain come to mind) and learn the language?
Last, and this may be the hard one, think of ways to leave this world better than when you came. Does freedom from long term consequences create an opportunity to do something extraordinary if perhaps unpleasant, taboo, or illegal? A dictator you can take down because your life is cheap? A government censorbot that needs a privacy countermeasure you can code because you're not afraid of jail? A homeless person you can take into your home and mainstream because the worst that can happen is they steal your property?
Good luck with your life. Live well. Be decisive. Ask yourself always: "What's the best use of my time right now?"
Looking at my own life the things that I feel blessed for, have nothing to do with work. After falling in love and starting a family, being rich and changing the world are no longer important. As long as I can provide for my family and raise my children in a way that would make me proud, nothing else matters.
Unplug and try the bag. There is much more to life than business success and $.
You said you refuse to take that bag, so now consider this situation... you have 3 more days to die and you just created something beautiful & awesome and you want to see it thru. Might be a business or even a time travel machine or even someone you love. Won't you regret that you didn't take that colostomy bag to live long enough to see the job thru and have fun?
Still waiting to take that bag? Damn it! you are forcing yourself to be a loser.
As for women, like everyone else said, i dunno how to blow them off their feet. And sadly so do people who have done it :) So take that bag and get lucky!!!
You've asked for suggestions on what you should do before you're gone, I think that's what the people commenting here should be addressing.
My suggestion is make a difference. Change something that wouldn't otherwise be changed. You've made a reckless decision to cut decades off your life, perhaps an equally reckless decision will result in something that lasts a lot longer.
Good luck :)
Or join up with some of the group adventure holiday type things.