We found a nerdy, but perfectly acceptable way to handle this: schedule time with each other. It works out very well; we both look forward to our time together and we both schedule around it. We rarely deviate. We also understand and respect each other's time needed alone.

  - dinner every night at 6:30
  - Jeopardy every night
  - lunch at least once during the week
  - Sunday brunch at home (a big production)
  - date night, at least once each weekend
  - something special in town once a month
  - something special out of town once a month