What's weird is that you attribute any importance to appearances, and prefer one type of appearances over another.
You know what they say: judge people by what they do, solely by what they do. Never by what they say. This isn't even caring about what he says, but caring about the way he says it, even worse.
> You don't think his communication style might have been risky during the Cuban missle crisis, for example?
During that same Cuban Missile Crisis, the Soviets sent two letters. One that appeared ranting and almost drunkenlike, and one that appeared diplomatic, reasoned and moderate. The first was probably sent by Khrushchev, so he could seem tough, and the other by his advisors, who didn't have as much to prove. Yet the Cuban crisis went fine, because the US expected Khrushchev to behave like that, and weren't surprised by it.
Same with Trump, who's just as predictable as any other politician (I would say more so) if you follow him enough.
You care about appearances (which never matter) when what matters is expectations and consistency.