A sense of purpose and meaning. I grew up in poverty, managed to emigrate to the US and have struggled to get where I am and now am in a comfortable senior position in the industry.

I am good at what I do but it's the same thing over and over. I go to work each day, save most of my paycheck, then use the rest to buy expensive trinkets, go to nice restaurants and take trips.

I have a circle of acquaintances, hobbies, a great girlfriend and look outwardly successful and happy.

But is this cycle all there is for the next few decades until retirement/death? I feel like I am plateauing. There must be more to it than this.

I feel guilty even thinking such things as my life is fortunate in so many ways.

(Throwaway account)