Small heart attack caused by alarm; death of alarm clock (they're cheap, I have several); iPod alarm 15 minutes later is too expensive to kill so I get up; brush teeth; kiss wife goodbye (VERY important to do this, and only AFTER the tooth brushing); fill canteen with water; leave the house; experience severe finger cramp during morning rush hour; buy bottle of ambrosia (Coke) at gas station near the office; find parking while experiencing further finger cramp in other hand; at my desk by 9AM; use topical lotion to ease forehead abrasions caused by facepalming too aggressively (on days I have support calls waiting for me).

By 10AM I'm fine :) What did the skeleton say when he walked into the bar? Gimme a beer and a mop.