This was a really, really good comment. It gave me a couple ideas that makes me want to chime in -
> ... I can't process fast enough while writing to say coherently what I think like I can when I am talking...
Very common among high performers. I had lunch with an uber-businessman, from-scratch-into-hundreds-of-millions type, and he says to the waiter, "Water no cold!" He meant no ice. They figured it out. Don't worry about getting pretty words out there, get the message out there. I read a lot, have studied a lot, and lots of times I'll write or speak with bad grammar if it's easier to understand or would take longer to fix. "That ain't right" is something I say fairly often since "that ain't right" is usually the fastest way to say it when something ain't right.
> When I lie, I don't think that the most important thing is not to get caught. I think about how the lie is helpful, and how I am going to expose the lie later ESPECIALLY if the person knows I am lying.
Everyone lies. EVERYONE. The people that don't admit this are forced to rationalize their lies, or even convince themselves that they're true. I note, evaluate, and scrutinize every time I lie, and do it a hell of a lot less than most people. When I do lie, I evaluate whether it was okay there and if it was worth it, and try to figure out a way I could have not lied.
And people are very understanding of lying for good reasons. I remember telling a guy I worked with from age 19 to 21, "Hey, remember when I said I was 22 when we met...? I was 19. I just turned 21, not 24." He totally understood. He says, "I'd have done the same thing, no one takes a teenager seriously." He was... 35 at the time. People understand. If you're much younger than people at your same level, you might have to lie about your age if it comes up before the other person has gotten a chance to know you. You clear it up a few months later and no one cares, really. Though it is a bit more relaxing to not have to lie about it now.
Also, on the topic of lying, it's worth learning about how people lie. For instance, people who screw around when in committed relationships get indignant when asked how many times they've done so. "What?! Zero!" Otherwise, people shrug and say they haven't. Then, if you mention one or two times that the person told you about and ask how many again, they're say, "okay... well... just three." That's probably seven to ten. If they say five, it's probably 15. 8 is "a lot". You pick this stuff up if you pay attention to people lying and try to guess at what the truth actually is. Eventually you get a sense for it.
Two more thoughts on lying - don't put people in a position where they have to lie. So if someone's a young entrepreneur, I tell them, "Hey, I went into business at 19... I know what it's like... it's tough... how old are you?" and I do it when no one's around. If you do it in front of other people, they're going to lie, because they have to. Also, don't confront people on lying to you generally, it's not worth it. I just shrug and wait a while. If you need the real answer, ask the question in a re-phrased way where they'll be more likely to tell the truth in a few weeks. They probably will. Don't mention the discrepencies in their story, "catching" a person just royally upsets them.
> Nothing is free. When you accept something from a friend, even if it is explicitly spoken that no strings are attached, you owe them.
Yes. My rule - don't accept favors from people I don't want to do twice as much for in return.
> I know, I am saying "Be the person you do not expect anyone else to be".
Love that expression. Fantastic way of putting it.
> Forgive and Forget
This one will be the most controversial one I'll write -
Forgive and forget... 95% of the time. One time out of 20, when you're completely in the right morally, completely so, go to ridiculous ends to wreck havoc on a wrong-doer. Doing this only every so often gives you a reputation of not to be messed with, and even when people do shady/bad/questionable things in regards to you, they think a little more carefully about crossing "the line" because they don't want total war. Again, you should be so completely in the moral right that the person's grandmother would say, "Well, yes, it's bad that he's doing it, but are you really surprised after how you treated him?" His grandmother should think you're in the right. Also, I've seen it plenty of times - if you have absolutely, completely, totally no shot of winning and go (intelligently) berserk anyways... sometimes you'll win, and the reputation of doing so goes a long, long ways. "Yeah, that's so and so... good guy, very loyal, don't wrong him though. Yeah, one time he was in Hong Kong and got into a shouting match with a mob boss in McDonalds who had two of his goons there, the police had to break it up... why? The mob boss called one of the employees a fucking idiot and spit on the floor, and Sebastian said to lower his voice and clean it up..." But yeah, if you're not going to war, then forgive and forget. And once a war is over, then forgive and forget. Grudges are useless.
> I'd appreciate anything anyone has to say to me- especially if you think I am FOS, but please- respond tactfully.
Oh, but most people won't... I'd never give unsolicited advice to anyone I didn't have a really close personal relationship with, and even then, very rarely.
Great comment! I agree with just about all of it. What's the Egypt thing by the way, if you don't mind me asking? Sounds crazy.