Nearly half of couples living in sexless marriages in Japan, says report | Hacker News Reader

Nearly half of couples living in sexless marriages in Japan, says report

theguardian.com

37 pointslnrdgmz10 comments

The reason is, we don't have enough money.

Lack of money requires both partners to work in order to sustain the family. Typical Japanese work at least 8 hours, Plus one hour resting in the middle as the law demands it so it took 9 hours of a day.

But we don't have a luxury to live next to the working place. Most Japanese live 1-2 hours away from the working place. Going to work requires 2 to 4 hours.

It took 11 or 13 hours of a day.

Not all jobs are 9-5 jobs. The holidays are also differs.

So, partners work hours and holidays doesn't overlap.

Which makes really narrow margin of time spending together with the partner.

And this is the case of a family without having any kids. No wonder the birth rate is historically low.

Before somebody mentioned it, remote work isn't possible for many type of works. Most jobs still requires physical person's presence.

Is this what the halt state for Western civilization looks like? Very high quality of life, long lifespans, and essentially no crime, but at a cost of rampant ennui.

The shrinking population thing is basically happening in every first world country, we only notice it in Japan because their immigration policy is essentially "No."

High quality of life for who?

For at least most people.

It's only temporary, although it could in principle last a few centuries. Birthrate isn't homogeneous in a population, and is partly transferable across generations, either culturally or genetically. So subpopulations with higher birthrate will eventually come to dominate.

Dramatically over-simplified model: Mormons in the US have 3.4 children compared to the national average of 2.1. They currently number about 6M, or 2% of the US population. If they grow by a factor of 3.4/2.1=1.62 (i.e., 62%) each generation, then it takes 8.1 generations, or a bit over 200 years, for them to become the majority.

I wonder if post-scarcity will reveal that ennui and depression are the "default state" for human beings and we just never noticed because we always had enough work to distract ourselves.

I would argue the opposite. All of human history until relatively recently involved hunting and gathering to survive, and later agriculture, which still involved manual work. I think ennui is a new experience unlocked by industry and automation, since we no longer have to work for our basic needs.

"Fiero is what we feel after we triumph over adversity. You know it when you feel it – and when you see it. That’s because we almost all express fiero in exactly the same way: we throw our arms over our head and yell."

- Reality is Broken, Jane McGonigal

Life without challenge is lived poorly and never punctuated by fiero.

The work culture in Japan is awful. A salaryman is expected to spend so much time at the office keeping a relationship healthy is a hurculean task. It doesn't seem very surprising to find couples aren't having sex by their 40s and 50s - they're strangers, emotionally.

Too much porn in Japan?

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