I've got a Gold Amex and a Chase Sapphire, and both pay for themselves each year. Between the monthly/quarterly recurring charges associated with running a startup off your credit cards, travel, and monthly expenses (groceries, gas, etc) we get way more in kickbacks than our yearly fees.
The important thing is that we're not going out of our way to justify the cards, we're simply operating our household expenses the same way we would be on a $0 card.
The difference is we use our points to buy everyone in our family pnice Christmas gifts, can get pre-sale access to shows/concerts (that is admittedly underutilized now that we have three kids), access to airport lounges, double up on hotel points, get discounted airfare upgrades, and things like expense categorization in the web portal. We get frequent discount offers for things we normally purchase, instant alerts for weird transactions that I can handle from my phone.
For us it pencils out. For someone or a family without the recurring expenses we have and doesn't travel very often, it wouldn't be worth it.