-we are not sure how many children we want, and didn't want to lock ourselves into a lifestyle where that decision was driven by finances.
-our 1-bdm 900-sqft condo is not a bad size but still woefully undersized for 1, much less 2, children. The couple on the floor above us had a baby in their unit, and they told us it was hellish.
- there was a park nearby, which is nice, but the number of dogs we see reliving themselves on that patch of grass makes me think I'll never let my child play on that grass.
-people drive aggressively through my street, and I'd be terrified to let my child play on my sidewalk.
-it's really hard to find daycare in SF, and what you do find is expensive. A co-worker told me she got on a school's waiting list before she got pregnant. And when you do find a space, it'll be $2k+ per month per child.
-the public education system in SF is opaque and confusing; there is no assurance that your child will be sent to the school geographically closest, and everybody has a horror story about a friend's cousin's brother who moved away from SF after getting their child assigned to a terrible school across town. I don't know that I'll be able to afford private school if needed (and, see aforementioned comment about finances).
-when it comes right down to it, I want my child to have the sort of childhood I had, which is from a middle American suburb, with the parks, bike rides, and lemonade stands that that entails.
Are any of these 100% accurate? probably not. Maybe I was horribly misinformed. As you note, most of my info came from conversations with other people who already had kids. But that's how most people learn, and I imagine it's how others learn the info they use to make their decisions too. So here I sit, commenting from my home in the East bay. I miss SF, sure, but you know what? It's pretty nice out here, too.