It's not a dichotomy; you could equally tell his wife to "celebrate their marriage and not bitch" about moving to somewhere with more opportunities. You should not think about someone's happiness, that does not also think about your own.
>You should not think about someone's happiness, that does not also think about your own.
I guess you can live by that, but I certainly don't like the dynamics of this towards the limit. If somebody is hurting I don't mind trying to say something. Suffering isn't cool.
People in such situations should focus on communication and progress, possibly with the help of a therapist. Or end the marriage. But plodding along blaming your spouse for your terrible lot in life is no way to raise a family (or save some money).
I've been married 10 years. It's up and down, but in the end, it's what you make of it.