I do agree with you. I about learned Agile first from my mentor (his formative years were in the 80s) who I did and do still deeply respect, but over time he and I disagreed over the nature of what Agile is and what it should result it as I gained more real-world experience.
I honestly have no answers as to specific suggestions that work for everyone. I've even asked teams where I implemented Agile practices what they though of my interpretation and the response I get is "Dunno...works fine to me."
The best advice I can offer has nothing to do specifically with Agile, but pertains to my experience customizing agile to an organization. I don't mean to plug my "book" (especially since I don't make money from it), but the best advice I can give anyone I put in here:
https://neilonsoftware.com/books/personality-patterns-of-pro...
Flawed and incomplete I know, but the best I could think to do.