> The "chip on my shoulder" is only in response to you telling me ...
Ehh, or to seeing mal-intent where it isn't.
> I'm fighting hard to justify something incorrect, which is quite frankly insulting
I don't tell you if I feel insulted, and if I did I wouldn't expect you to care. Part of having a chip is showing it off.
> (and, as I said, an incorrect thing to say in its own right, since the dictionary agrees with me,
Yes, and the dictionary (Merriam Websters) can't tell the difference between centi and centa, so it's not an authority.
> regardless of whether or not you think I have an ulterior motive).
I think this paragraph is you agreeing that you do have an ulterior motive, and explaining it as getting back at jerks like me.
> This very specific situation (when someone rebukes someone else because they think the other person is ignorant, when it is they themselves that are ignorant) is a huge pet peeve of mine,
I don't think you're ignorant. I think you know more than the average person. However I think it's functionally wrong for you to use something in an ambiguous way, JUST to prove a point - which is that you're technically right because an dictionary agrees, etc.
> Of course, they're the ones who have convinced themselves that it is the other person who misunderstood and is doubling down, so that just compounds the insult.
No, I get that the dictionary agrees. But I think if you weren't set on showing that you're just as allowed to use that phrase as someone else that you'd pick something else from the vast sea of words. Something that actually seemed descriptive.
> I think it's extremely silly to ask me why I used one word instead of another closely related word.
Why is it silly to ask? I like blue more than red for weird little personal reasons - how would you ever know without asking why?
> Yes, words have near-synonyms and I could just ask easily ask you why you're not using my word instead.
Right, and I'd tell you that the original meaning is as good as lost because few get it, and the secondary meaning is wrong because it directly conflicts with the other meaning and causes confusion, so I simply describe what I mean without having a pet phrase.
Why do you feel the need to own that specific phrase when I'm sure you could be more evocative, and thus understandable, by saying almost anything else that came to mind?
> but since far more people understand my meaning of the phrase than the "true" meaning, I'd say that the people using the idiom (rather than the words themselves) are the ones who have an ulterior motive other than understandability.
Frankly the original never meant much to me, the only reason I'm really aware of it is the continual use, misuse, and intentionally unintentional misuse of it. But of the users of those, I find the originalist far less unhelpful in a conversation. They're at least trying to help, as opposed to - what's the verb for exercising your chip?
If you let the phrase die rather than fighting an ideological war around it perhaps someone would coin something better.