However, I do concede that this kind of language motivates a certain kind of employee in desperate situations.
Yet at the same time he was not 100% asshole 100% of the time. He had a kinder side that was less often reported, the circumstances often highly personal and less newsworthy.
The reason people tolerated his outbursts or his general dickishness is because they saw what he was doing and they respected his vision. Being a dick may have helped him at times and hurt him at others, but it's just how he was. Everyone else seeking to emulate him on those terms is going to be an insufferable dick because they're missing the other elements.
Relationships are complicated, especially between lovers and co-founders. Wozniak has a lot of axes to grind, but he's also not going to piss all over Steve just because of those.
If you read the account from the Pixar side of things, his other multi-billion dollar company, he had a whole different attitude towards engaging with that team. Apple was his baby, his entire life, while Pixar was a business venture.
I'm sure there's a littany of other grievances large and small but on the whole he's not predominantly a bad guy.
Just as we shouldn't make him out to be some kind of saint who could do no wrong we shouldn't vilify him for the many mistakes he made. The way you're beating on this drum sure sounds a lot like what he did was so monstrous it overshadowed his work.
He's no Roman Polaniski, Woody Allen or Bill Cosby where the transgressions are so severe you'd want the person shunned, their work permanently stained by their horrible actions. He was a dick, he was difficult, he was emotionally demanding and verbally abusive, for that he'll always be guilty, but as far as anyone's been willing to divulge he never crossed that line to something violent or irreparably dark.
The problem with tech is that behaviour way, way worse than what Jobs ever did is given a free pass. The problem is not Jobs.