You sound like someone who could benefit from 300μg of LSD to think his life through and perhaps make major changes, alternatively psylocybin. No offense, but it seems like you're mindlessly executing a social script meant for someone completely different. Like a Westworld host's loop (a tv series).

Regarding parties, if you want to make yourself social, try MDMA with selegiline. Selegiline is to prevent MDMA from being neurotoxic [0].

>BTW, during that seduction community time I spent endless hours at bars and clubs, surrounded by people having fun and pretending to have fun myself. I never had any fun there. It was more of a war zone which I tolerated in pursuit of a goal.

You weren't alone. Most, if not all, men go to clubs in hope of getting laid. Those that have fun find the whole process fun; a game. They are the most extroverted ones so it may seem like it's the normal way to spend free time, but in reality they're a small minority. Nothing weird with not liking it, or not getting along with those that like it.

>I did that because I was tired of being a virgin

Literally, or do you mean combined with being single? If literally, why all that work on seduction instead of paying a prostitute?

[0] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17881526