Odd that google.com now redirects me to bing.com when I use Microsoft Edge... Ah, another Facebook blackmail notice, need to remember to send them their monthly $20, so they don't tell my significant other about my affair... Somebody left a phone on the ground, oh damn it, it just scanned my fingerprint and is breaking into my bank account, serves me right, I should have known better than to go outside today.

Yeah, I'm not digging this dystopian future. On the plus side, it would bring typewriters back into common use.