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Comment by ajeet_dhaliwal | Hacker News Reader

Unfortunately not and it sucks. Anytime I spend on my endeavours is considered a waste of time by her and it is difficult. She started out somewhat supportive but success has been elusive and faith has been lost over time so there is a feeling of having let both of us down. She wishes I'd focus on my job and do well in the corporate world but it's not what I want. Here's hoping (with some reason) to 2017 being the year I turn it around.

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People put a lot of emphasis on success. I've seen the "need to succeed" destroy more projects and motivation than anything else.

I know someone who would be really interested in working on projects, enjoys programming, and so on, be very reluctant to take up projects that seem "iffy" with regards to financial success.

My point: being ruined financially by a project is one thing. It's another to program for fun. You can spin up a project for fun, as long as it isn't wrecking your bank account, and not have to worry if it's going to succeed.

I'm starting to think emphasis on success is necessary. It's something I have not had before, I tend to work on projects because I find them interesting or I believe they should exist because they are useful. I've always maintained a job at the same time so financial ruin is never a risk. The problem with this approach is it leads to any spare time outside of the paying job being consumed with projects/entrepreneurial pursuits which is the source of the friction, not enough of my time to go to the wife/family creating the perception of me being very selfish. Ideally you want to see some traction and then ditch the job, doing so before would add additional stress due to lack of income. However getting to traction while having a job is extremely hard. Ideally you want to move in with the parents or do this when you're young to make it easier on yourself and your significant other.

Remember, an extroverted engineer stares at OTHER people's shoes when he talks.

> I've always maintained a job at the same time so financial ruin is never a risk.

I think it's a definition of "financial ruin." If you quit your job and blow through your safety net (not your retirement or anything) I don't consider that ruin.

> Ideally you want to see some traction and then ditch the job, doing so before would add additional stress due to lack of income.

I think this is the way that a lot of successful projects have come. If the idea is too big to solve in your spare time, it does not fit into this model.

Not wrecking bank account shouldn't be the only concern. Wrecking relationships by being absent should also be of concern.

This is time management: it is hard, but it isn't impossible.

It's impossible without a supportive partner.

I think that's a different problem.

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