Comment by kstenerud | Hacker News Reader

Comment by kstenerud | Hacker News Reader

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It only makes a difference when you finally face real adversity. I'm a serial entrepreneur. I've had 8 companies, 6 of which have failed. Twice I've been literally reduced to the clothes on my back (actually the second time was even worse: 30 grand in debt, to the government).

When shit goes REALLY bad, your ability to deal with the nastiness of reality is put to the test. I fought for a month and a half with a broken rib, because I refused to give in. I've climbed out of some very nasty holes and endured the most humiliating circumstances holding my head high, because I will not concede defeat. If I have to die, I'll kill my enemies first. If I fail, that's MY fault, not other people, not circumstance. I have sole responsibility over myself, EVEN if I'm not the one who got me into the mess originally. It's MY responsibility to get out, and no one else's, because let's face it: no one else gives anywhere near as much of a shit about you as you do.

That's all well and good, just saying the topic is about systematically building habits, not dealing with life adversity generally. I agree that one shouldn't blame others and take self responsibility, but again, crossing the line into self-guilting and blame can be very harmful, and I wouldn't recommend it to most anyone.

Not everyone approaches life with that individualistic intensity and absolutism, but I'm glad it works for you.

It's your responsibility, but nothing says you should punish yourself. Say you're on a diet and you go off of it, just get back on without hand wringing over it. If you've ever tried to lose weight and succeeded long term, you'll know that breaks from the diet are in fact part of the diet. No need to make yourself feel bad. Speaking from experience here.

I worked in agriculture with a guy who broke his rib when he got hit by a car door. He didn't go to a doctor for two weks, and the problem was only diagnosed when he had to be rushed to the hospital dying - the rib had punctured his lung (he made it).

Please don't overdo it, everyone, and take care of yourselves.

  Being uncomfortable leads to guilt and a sense of failure for good reason: You DID fail. Be honest.
  How you handle failure tells a LOT about your character. Either you're a pussy who sits in a corner feeling sorry for yourself, or you take your lumps, then get up and go again.
  Feeling warm and fuzzy all the time doesn't give you grit.

This formulation of grit is overrated / should be considered harmful. Your macho attitude and glorifying of "toughness" is a very stereotypical[ly western male] characterization of strength. You mention being willing to take your enemies down with you, fighting with a broken rib, and call not accepting feelings of guilt / failure being a "pussy" (which btw is also demeaning to women).

Yeah, starting companies and going into debt incurs stress. Having social conflict incurs stress. But dealing with that stress does not ever have to entail blaming yourself or white knuckling to get out of it. Telling an alcoholic (chemical addiction) to just "STOP DRINKING" doesn't work because people just don't work that way -- similarly, stress is chemicals in your body and there are procedures known to reduce it, and healthy thought patterns to move systematically toward a better situation rather than unhealthy "STOP SUCKING" / "WORK HARDER" signals. Those are not actionable.

This post is not actionable. Cool humblebrag, but it elicits no respect from me -- real grit is having the patience and perseverance to discover functional processes to better your standing. It requires no anger, killing of enemies, or broken ribs.

TL;DR Learn to problem solve better and maybe without calling people pussies. Maybe you'll be happier for it and live more empathetically toward others.

Please don't use spaces to quote text. It's broken for mobile users.

http://imgur.com/CHcQ52U

I mean no offense, but a 75% failure rate isn't exactly a great endorsement of your methodology.

If 90% of startups fail, 25% success is 2.5x above average. I'll listen to someone who's advice improves my odds. I'll also listen to someone who's tried and failed and admits it honestly and takes responsibility for their failure and knows how to avoid the same mistake next time. Someone who hasn't failed probably hasn't tried. Someone who hasn't failed may have nothing of value to teach me. If you do have or know of better methodologies though, please share, I'd love to get more pointers!

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