haskell on rails. the amazing static typing, binary compilation, etc of haskell, with a large ecosystem and monolith framework (like rails) behind it. haskell's community's focus on challenging, technical, scientific or mathematical problems has left normal web developers plainly not using it. but as our rails codebase has grown, it's hard to identify refactoring issues outside of obessive and overlapping unit tests.
i think Java actually comes closest to what I want here but unfortunately it's pretty hard to get past all the cruft the ecosystem has accrued over the years, plus it's java and marketing that as a company/developer sucks. also java is missing some expressiveness of haskells TS