Software Engineer Cheat Sheet

'I used a mocking library to write the tests' = The tests are all uselessly fake

'Were using validated design patterns' = The author I cut and pasted from wrote a book

'We're using a agile methodology' = Were making it up as we go along

'Our use of functional programming techniques will increase reliability' = I'm using the project to buff my resume

'Web apps are the future' = I don't know how to write native apps

'Web apps can't recreate the native app experience' = I don't know how to write web apps

'The board and management have bet the company on this project' = Sell your stock NOW (this from personal experience, twice)

Lol. A software Engineer that worked with her would write a really fun reply. This way of thinking is a the kind of bs we hear from guys (and girls) in a suit. A fun experiment is to change "software Engineer" for "civil Engineer" or "Chemical Engineer" having a "business person" saying how to work. It is awkward how them don't feel stupid.

> “That’s funny” = I literally hate you

I was like that, but now I just laugh and if they say "I'm serious!" I just tell them "I know!"

I don't hate anyone anymore. I stopped caring about most people and their ideas and just try to deliver the best I can do for them.

This doesn't seem to fit normal cheat sheet format = funny concept, but needed more work.

"We can test that" = We have the ability to test that