I agree, I've been running Arch Linux on my MBP Retina for 2+ years now almost without problems. I bet if the OP tried Linux, they'd be absolutely fine.
does close-lid-to-sleep and open-lid-to-wake work?
Yup, works great out of the box.
I've been running Arch on a Dell Chromebook and battery life and sleep/wake are essentially the same as with ChromeOS from what I've seen so far. Awesome experience.