I hear ya. I think it can be done without appearing too snobbish. Most people have some type of honing rod/steel. They just don't use it, because they don't realize how dull their knives actually are.

I often get enlisted into the cooking effort when I visit a friend for big party or over the holidays or whatevs. It's a low-key way for me to take some of the stress off the host, and it's an easy way to start conversations with other guests, which I like as an introvert.

Anyway, when I'm helping in the kitchen, I usually ask the host if I can "sharpen" (really hone but that distinction isn't important to them) their knives. The usual response is "PLEASE DO." I agree it can come off as judgy, but if you're helping them cook, they take it in the positive spirit it's meant.

Just make sure you tell the host. I once honed some knives, got them nice and sharp, and the host immediately cut herself. I asked if it was okay, but I guess she was so used to the dull knives, didn't have good technique, etc.

My other pet peeve is dry and cracked cutting boards. So I also often offer to oil their cutting board if I can find their spoonwax/mineral oil in the back of the pantry.