"It was therapeutic for the reasons you give, but also because I had a death wish."
This is a problem. High sensation seeker, (dopamine seeker) with low perception of risk. Understanding risk is a skill. You can improve it through training and applying conscious decision making. Risk management is trying to mitigate the "unknown, unknowns." If you do not understand the risks, you cannot avoid the pitfalls until it stares you in the face.
Risk is also relative. Stand on the side of a busy road you are (mostly) safe. Walk out onto a busy road you are not. It's that stark.