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Comment by ftrflyr | Hacker News Reader

This doesn't work. I have tried it. She (my GF) just argues with me about any purchase I try to make that is around the ballpark of what she is expecting me to pay for a ring.

e.g.

Her: So you want a new MacBook Pro, but you can't afford a $3000 engagement ring?

Me: No, I need a MacBook Pro for work.

This has been going on for quite some time now.

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tell her you'd rather set the $3k on fire - as in, real fire, with smoke and all - while she watches than buy a diamond ring. be prepared to follow through.

oh also don't listen to advice on the internet.

The trick here is to use good-quailty counterfeits, and then afterwards ask her if she feels the same way about the ring. If so, buy it. If not, spend the money on something else.

Also, don't do this.

I don't agree with people that say just because she wants the diamond ring, it means the relationship is a bad relationship. It's not irrational to feel social pressure, and feel real pain by not conforming to social norms. At the end of the day if she is happier, that is where she drives economic utility. Just keep at the dialogue, and try to communicate how spending money on something you consider to be unnecessary and imprudent actually harms you emotionally. Hopefully, you will be able to have a nice dialogue and compromise so that you both feel respect from the other person.

In a situation like this it is quite impossible to give a good advice.

I would recommend you to read the book How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World. Not because of your question regarding the diamond ring but generally.

Sounds like a bad relationship to be in :(

If you can afford a $3k MBP, you can afford a diamond ring. And her diamond ring will be worn forever, your shiny new laptop will be on Craigslist in 5 years.

a 3k MBP provides a lot more value than a 3k diamond ring

if used correctly, a 3k MBP is a netgain

And a wife is a net loss monetarily. I guess you shouldn't get married then

you can get married without a diamond ring or a expensive marriage. its only a netloss if you make it one

Ok, fine then...a kid is a net loss, a particularly large one at that. Should you not have kids then?

Kid is a pretty solid long time investment(¹), which makes wife a cofounder. Good cofounder won't ask to burn some money to celebrate foundation of the company:).

(¹) of course some children are still a net loss, but other investments fail too so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You seem to get emotional. Because a guy on the internet does not want to by her GF a diamond ring? Why do you care at all?

Getting married is emotional.

Shouldn't get married.

Getting married is probably something worth getting emotional about. Strangers on the internet having made different decisions (or even thinking badly about my decisions) probably isn't.

Your assertion was "if you can afford a $3k MVP you can afford a $3k ring." That the MVP shows a financial return speaks directly to affordability. The parent is not making a claim that financial return is the only thing relevant to decision making.

MBP, of course. Dang autocorrect...

>> her diamond ring will be worn forever

The divorce statistics say something else.

If this is their first marriage, it has something like a 70% of being worn until death. The Macbook has a >90% chance of being relegated to the trash heap in less than 10 years.

A diamond ring loses a large amount of its value when you purchase it, because engagement rings don't really ever sell for what they bought them for. If he uses that MBP for work, it is a return on the investment as it allows him to earn income with it, eventually (hopefully) more than what he spent on it.

The diamond just sits on her finger for bragging rights.

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