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Comment by mk89 | Hacker News Reader

Great advice. Possibly coming from someone who doesn't have a girlfriend. :) try to give such a stone to a girl and see how amused she is gonna be. You are just gonna sound "cheap". Diamonds are a status, not a beautiful stone.

edit: I see many downvotes. Guys, seriously, was it for me, I would buy nothing. It's just how this world works. You can express your anger by downvoting me, I'll be fine, but please don't fall into this belief that diamonds are just a stone. They are unfortunately just a status, like brands...

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Yes, this discussion reappears every time diamonds are mentioned on HN. Pretty brilliant marketing campaign by De Beers, though, that somebody will think you're "cheap" if you don't buy a big enough diamond that somebody dug out of the ground.

In the end it's just a conversation between people who say, "You can't just ignore these social conventions" and people who say "these social conventions are stupid, find someone who isn't so shallow."

If you think everyone falls into one camp or the other, however, then you have a lot to learn.

Here is the article that talks about the De Beers marketing plan that created the concept of a diamond engagement ring.

http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/02/how...

I am a woman in a happy, long term relationship. I have issues with your assumption about "girls". I told my boyfriend not to give me a diamond because every aspect of what diamond actually embodies goes against my value.

There are certainly women who adore diamonds, but not every woman does.

Will you please speak to my GF! I am afraid we have different values and any time the ring conversation comes up, it ends in an argument. The last argument ended in her telling me that we shouldn't talk about it anymore.

Then you have an issue on the values you have, and willing to spend the rest of your life together with someone that doesn't share those same values.

You should really have an open conversation about that and weight the implications of it. It can slowly build up to an unavoidable obstacle for the relationship.

If your girlfriend dumps you because you're not spending $5,000 on a diamond ($5,000 that could be invested for your future house, baby, etc) then you should probably celebrate.

Hope you don't mind I ride off the bottom comment ;)

I came here to post that the article misses the point!

As you said, diamond rings are about the status.

They are a signal, first and foremost.

It's like expensive cars and (dare I say) Apple products:

the wastefulness is an indicator of wealth, just like the peacock's massive tail is wasteful: it is expensive to grow and detrimental to its ability to escape predators.

So, as dimino suggested, I would spend the same amount...

but I'd spend it on Moissanite ;)

Or you could try having a conversation about it before making the actual decision. It's going to vary from person to person...

If it's great advice from your perspective as a man then surely it's also great advice from the perspective of any woman who thinks the same way you do. Women have as much interest in the ethics of the things that they wear and the value (which isn't just the price) of things that their partner buys as any man does.

Plus, to be honest, I imagine if you gave a woman the choice between an engagement ring that cost $6000 and a much cheaper engagement ring that their boyfriend spent 6 months finding, most would choose the ring that their boyfriend spent time thinking about and choosing. Women have as much money as men do for buying status symbols; when it comes to an engagement ring they're looking for something that mere money can't buy.

You have bad taste in women it seems.

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