For what it's worth, hardware doesn't provide an IOPS/latency SLA either ;). In all seriousness, we (Google, all providers) struggle with deciding what we can strictly promise. Offering you a "guaranteed you can hit 50k IOPS" SLA isn't much comfort if we know that all it takes is a single ToR failure for that to be not true (providers could still offer it, have you ask for a refund if affected, etc. but your experience isn't changed).
All that said, I would encourage you to reconsider. I know you're frustrated, but rolling your own infrastructure just means you have to build systems even better than the providers. On the plus side, when it's your fault, it's your fault (or the hardware vendor, or the colo facility). You've been through a lot already, but I'd suggest you'd be better off returning to AWS or coming to us (Google) [Note: Our PD offering historically allowed up to 10 TiB per disk and is now a full 64 TiB, I'm sorry if the docs were confusing].
Again, I'm not saying this to have you come to us or another cloud provider, but because I honestly believe this would be a huge time sink for GitLab. Instead of focusing on your great product, you'd have to play "Let's order more storage" (honestly managing Ceph has a similar annoyance). I'm sorry you had a bad experience with your provider, but it's not all the same. Feel free to reach out to me or others, if you want to chat further.
Disclosure: I work on Google Cloud.
[1] https://gitlab.com/gitlab-com/www-gitlab-com/merge_requests/...