I would choose the new MBP. Mostly to try out the Touch Bar. I'm intrigued by the possibilities of a context-specific, programmable function key area. Will it be useful? Will it be an annoyance?

Different users have different goals and pain points. More than anything I want a computer that fades into the background. I want to get work done using computer. I don't want to work on the computer itself. I don't want to tinker with esoteric configurations in Ubuntu. Or troubleshoot OEM driver issues in Windows (or wait for Windows to install updates on boot).

My experience with MBP over the past five years has been seamless.