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Server side rendered HTML, simple forms with POST redirects. Little to no CSS or Javascript. Pick your back-end of choice: Java Spring, Python Django, Common Lisp (wink wink). Use a well known SQL server for persistence. Might be boring, but there are still a lot of cases where this is actually desirable, and it's insanely performant.

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At this point, isn't a site without CSS only suitable for tenured academics who don't care about their personal websites?

Have you seen this? No CSS, but it looks OK.

http://motherfuckingwebsite.com/

Using absolutely no CSS at all probably isn't what you want, unless you have a fetish for serif fonts. But a little can go a long way.

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