>people being fired for "inappropriate relationships" as happened in my department per the company policy.
If this were to happen, I imagine HR would say, "You two are dating" and the two people involved would say, "No we're not, we don't meet outside of work."
How would it even come to the attention of HR absent any kind of complaint whatsoever? Clearly in such a consenting relationship it's not in their interest to bring it up - surely "but rumor has it" is not actionable. I can't imagine that they would kiss or physically touch in the workplace. They're not slaves. How can HR know about their private lives?
As for your "I sure as hell do not want my boss asking me out. Ever." together with your second longer sentence, as a matter of policy your statement actually translates directly to "if I [meaning you, Mz] had a boss that I wanted to ask me out, I would like for us to have this choice only at the option of seriously risking both of our jobs for me to let them know this or for them to do so if they felt the same way." Because that is the rule you are suggesting. And what anyway is dating? Should employees not be allowed to meet after work, period? Are they allowed to meet, but the minute they touch even outside of work, even when keeping it a secret, and even if both of them really, really, want to, then they should both be fired? What if they secretly meet and talk about work things for months, but it's never a date, because they know they're living in a totalitarian regime that will fire them both if it judges that these meetings are anything but fully professional? What if they bring work materials with them, or perhaps the man in question tells everyone he is gay or if the woman tells everyone that she is a lesbian, just to throw HR off of the scent? Should there be a secret court -- how about a court-appointed psychiatrist and/or detective, so that anyone can file an anonymous complaint with HR against any man and woman who are in each other's chain of command, accusing them of being in a relationship, with no repercussions for the accuser but both of them being summarily fired if the detective says, "they seem to like each other, yes. Wouldn't surprise me." Will this atmosphere help enable women to join male teams -- where in many cases a staggering 100% of certain teams are male?
Also let's go farther than "did two employees in each other's chain of command ever touch each other." Your policy suggestion also implies that rather than start a foundation that they invested with $28 billion, after being married and living happily ever since, that Melinda Gates and Bill Gates should have been fired from Microsoft rather than being married. (Since in their position as a head on Encarta and Expedia, Bill Gates was their 'boss.')
Or does this not apply to the actual bosses, the CEO's (not a gendered term), who lead company cultures by example? Are you saying this was a bad outcome, that instead they should both have been ousted, fired? Because the minute they got married, the cat was out of the bag. It would be pretty hard to mount a defense that you're not actually in a relationship with someone, when your two Facebook statuses change to married to that person, don't you think?
How it works in normal, balanced workplaces is that employees don't harass each other, and nobody would ever ask you out unless you really, really wantd them to -- not only not your boss, not even the person sitting next to you. Don't you think that is a fairer policy?
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EDIT: downvoters (3 of them), could you kindly explain yourselves? I am open to the possibility that I am wrong, in this case please answer the rhetorical questions above literally or tell me why you disagree.