Help out the Lisp newbies everywhere.

I've heard the praises of lisp long enough from enough smart people now to know that as Akhmechet states, there must be something there.

I wish to walk the path of the masters but I know not the first step! There are so many Lips dialects and variations, I can't even figure out how to set up the environment.

What I want is to simply set up my centos server with apache that I currently use for perl development to hello world through apache with lisp.

1) What lisp dialect works best for web programming? Where should I get it?

2) Is there anything special that I need to do to httpd.conf? Any apache module I need?

3) I use Kdevelop now for perl and python, is there a better editor for lisp?

4) Are there vast repositories like CPAN for lisp? Where doe one find these?

5) Finally, is there a good guide that contains a lot of concrete examples of basic lisp idioms and best practices?

Sorry if all of this seems redundant but this seems like the place to ask without getting a "what is google broken?", or a "do you want a fortran manual as well?" response.

I hope that there are others out there in my situation who can benefit from the answers as well.