TLDR: "Bryan Cantrill is not a racist or a sexist. But he's still an asshole, so can't we purge him anyway?"

"Have you ever kissed a girl?" was a jerk move, there's no doubt. He's apologized for that. On the other hand, Cantrill has not (to my knowledge) posted any long collective denunciations of another human being on the public Internet. Butter, no doubt, wouldn't melt in OP's mouth.

I sometimes wonder if anyone these days has any idea why it isn't illegal (or at least tortious) to be an asshole. If there's someone you know, even someone you work with, who's an asshole, why can't you get them arrested? Or at least sue them? "Your honor, we believe the record will more than amply reflect the reality that defendant is a total dick."