But something that I almost never hear: critics offering a candid explanation for why their platform / language / framework - which maybe wasn't perfect but CERTAINLY compared to JavaScript was awesome - did not become the de facto tool across as diverse a spectrum for delivering features / products / tools to users.
It's always fair to criticize so that we ask ourselves the hard questions. So, it's also worth asking ourselves if we are staring too close to the wall when we try to paint other languages as backwards and therefore bad (or at least a bad choice). Just maybe, the language feature bullet list in your head (and corresponding subtleties of implementation) isn't the thing that matters most. Maybe the thing that really matters is something not as easy to codify as a language tool chain, like human consensus.
Also, it is false association to suggest that quantity != quality is somehow particular to JavaScript. Infinite monkeys will produce infinite crap no matter what brand typewriter you give them.