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Comment by throw998away | Hacker News Reader

My wife went through a rough patch a little while ago and decided she was depressed. She had no problem getting SSRIs prescribed by the doctor.

She says as soon as she started taking them, she instantly felt better. No more randomly bursting into tears.

But, she is no longer the wife I had. Her conversation is so slow. She regularly forgets what she was talking about, repeats herself. Basic chores are just forgotten about. She drinks more than ever, has started smoking. Her diet is awful. If she can be bothered to eat it is probably a chocolate bar at lunch time. She has gained about 4 stones in weight.

She never took up the counselling that she felt she needed before starting on the SSRIs.

She tried cutting down on her medication a little while ago, but this made her incredibly paranoid. So instead she has had to increase it.

All I see from it is an ever decreasing spiral into ruin.

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Take her to a competent psychiatrist, maybe one that practices in a hospital. I've never come across a symptom/side-effect profile like that before. But at least some of them (I am not a psychiatrist etc. etc.) hint at bipolar disorder.

One of the (unfortunately common) ways people learn that they have bipolar is by being mis-diagnosed with unipolar depression, being prescribed SSRIs, and suddenly finding themselves experiencing 'dysphoric mania'. Not the "everything's great, let's have sex with random strangers" type, but rather the "let's destroy every piece of furniture in the house" type.

But I don't know your situation other than what you've described, and I'm definitely not qualified to tell you what to do. The best I think you can do is to get a second opinion from a competent psychiatrist.

This is an excellent comment.

The "let's destroy every piece of furniture in the house" is exactly what happened with one of my parents, it's not a fun thing to witness but they eventually got the bipolar under control with lithium but the toxicity on that stuff is pretty horrible, regular blood tests for the rest of your life horrible.

Interesting. I haven't looked into bipolar before.

Please intervene. Get her some real counseling! Get her to a psychiatrist! And when she is able, get her exercising and taking probiotics. Good luck.

You talk as though I have any control over her whatsoever. She is pretty much uncontrollable. If I tried to suggest she needs to see a psychiatrist it would pretty much ensure she would never see one.. I am pretty much at the end of my tether now.

My ex was on the line of bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. I both didn't have control over anything he did, yet had some things I could do.

First off, good advice is found in the mental health hotlines. 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) if you are in the states. They can let you know options that I might not realize.

I was lucky enough that my ex kept his meds up (mostly) and went to the doctor - and that I had an invitation from his psychiatrist to call the hospital if I had any issues. Unfortunately, you don't have this. However, this doesn't preclude you from talking to her doctor. Even if he or she doesn't give you feedback information. He might be willing to change course with her or offer.

You might be able to change tactics and talk to her as well, explaining that you aren't sure this med is doing well for her and about the changes you have seen. She might be willing to go to a psychiatrist with you under the view of saving the relationship.

You also might be able to speak to a psychiatrist or therapist yourself to get some ideas on how to get through to her.

And good luck to you both. I truly understand your sort of struggle, even if I don't understand the specific flavor of it.

It also doesn't help that I have aspergers. So she assumes all her problems are down to that and its me who just needs to sort things out..

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