Don't use words like cool or stoked if you want a job with me. I need people who can write public-facing content.
What's wrong with those words exactly?
Maybe people are more relaxed about this sort of thing in California, but what that language would suggest to me that the applicant is young, male, and probably not very well-read (use of colloquialisms like "ain't" is another red flag). Right away I'd assume them unable to handle copyediting and communication work.