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I think I'm too dumb to learn how to use something like Haskell (properly). I have a memory/attention problem, medication helps but I almost gave up programming for it. Don't get me wrong, my code is highly praised for being moderately ok, but I have to play my strengths.

I was surprised that all of the Elixir hype seems to have died here.

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You're not too dumb! You can do anything you set your mind to :)

I totally understand not wanting to dive into something like Haskell though. Between Go and Python, I personally would choose Go for a long term commitment. I think the language is simple yet beautiful, has a robust standard library, and performs really well.

Python can be learned super quickly though, and being able to whip up a script is useful (you can 'import' seemingly anything). I'd say it's worth sprinkling in a little Python on the side.

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