The optimal long term strategy for managing a portfolio of independent investments is to always pick a mix that maximizes the expected value of the log of your net worth. This leads to a more conservative investment strategy than the naive "maximize your expected value", and explains such things as why money-losing investments into buying insurance can be a really good idea.
In general this is probably not a bad life strategy.
Let's use the back of the envelope that of VC backed companies, 10% are great successes, 60% die, and 30% will last a good amount of time but don't recoup the investment. The average employee in a successful startup will get a nice payday, but not exactly a life changing amount.
This is doubly true for people capable of being software developers. Your expected income from work is already sufficiently high that a million dollar payday does not change the log of your net worth by that much. Having worked in a hot startup is good for your salary, but usually not by a factor of 2 let alone enough to really change the log of your net worth.
The end result is that it is economically irrational to give up, say, 5% of your salary in return for a chance at hundreds of thousands if the startup sells for hundred's of millions.
Now there are lots and lots of reasons to be an employee at a startup. If you do, there are lots and lots of reasons to pick one that you think has a good shot. But the hope of becoming rich off of options is only one of them if you derive great entertainment value from it.