One thing is clear though, immersion without awareness is inherently unhealthy. The first step toward finding one's way is awareness or a reminder of the awareness you once had.
For me I would say 90% of people on my feed I have not spoken with in over a year or two. Some not for 5 years, some not for 10 years.
So the question is, is it really worth my time to read updates on their life when neither of us can be bothered nor have reason to actually talk to each other? Be it in person, or over the phone, or a personal e-mail.
I think for many people, they spend way too much time reading about other people's lives. People who they no longer see or interact with in any way outside of Facebook.
The other ill effect is that most people only tend to post positive things on Facebook. If you don't talk with them outside of Facebook you are getting a one sided view of their life. Everything may seem perfect. They love their job. They keep going on interesting vacations. Getting nice things. Going out to eat etc.. And it can make you depressed that your own life isn't as fun or interesting. The truth is they likely have just as many bad days and hardships as you, but don't publicize that information. A one sided view can cause jealousy and resentment. If Facebook is your only window in their life, you probably shouldn't be concerning yourself with what these people are doing.
Speaking for myself, I've had some interesting and fun conversations on Facebook and even met new people that became friends in real life. I don't pay much attention to the check out how wonderful my life is posts and more attention to something that seems more genuine, is interesting, or the basis for some banter. I actually enjoy seeing pictures of people's families and they seem to enjoy when I post pictures of my son but I don't do that very often.
I've already accounted for the positive bias on Facebook so it does not affect my view of the world. I'd imagine most people who've survived on Facebook this long have done the same, not to mention I think the nature of posts has gotten beyond the burnishing one's image to more balanced life challenges sort of posts. I'm talking about my feed so others might not be seeing this trend but it's possible a lot of people have said fuck it I'm going to tell the truth on here.
I am friends on Facebook with close friends and family but yes a lot of my "friends" are a hodgepodge of people I met once, met online somehow, and some I don't even remember where they came from. So the net result is a sort of fantasy community. I'm not sure there's anything wrong with a fantasy community though as I experience it as real. I'm not sure if that's a contradiction but I'd better get off HN for the rest of the day as this is topic is consuming. :-)
You're absolutely right, though, and it's something a lot of people recovering from this or that addiction don't typically understand: solutions to addiction exist on a personal level, everyone has to find their own, and absolute abstinence isn't necessarily required. I've encountered lots of addicts who've tried to tell me that I can or can't do this or that thing or else I won't be sober.
The distinction between me doing something, like reading a physical book, in an addictive manner vs not is exactly what you said: awareness.
Of course, I'm responding to comments in this thread partially because I'm avoiding an anxiety-provoking creative project to use as a means of getting a job. Awareness is key, but apparently something else is needed. My guess is it's emotional support (or at least that's what it is in my case).
We all might look back at this moment as the moment it all changed, we all held our heads up and made eye contact. We put away the devices. Cats slept with dogs. And dogs slept with donkeys. There was something different about the world that morning.
I'm glad I stumbled on this thread even though I sort of argued with myself today whether I should regret the time spent on this thread or not. I won the debate.
I think the key is balance.
The only thing (it's big though) I can think of on the bad side of the ledger are that it's easy to be consumed. I've resisted the worst manifestations that can actually kill other human beings: I NEVER, EVER look at my phone while driving. There's no justification for risking the lives of other human beings for that. I don't walk and text as it's annoying as fuck to someone walking the other direction.
What I need to do is restore balance. I would imagine that's what most people need. They don't need to do what Andrew Sullivan did. This could be the online addiction using me a sock puppet, though...