The first two paint points are perfectly solved by GWT[1]. But for some reason it isn't picked up by web community, even though you can still make really cool web apps with it.
It's Java. Last time I checked, still a painfully verbose language and build environment, with the wizardry of JVM tuning on top.
Perhaps, some day, this will turn into something more pleasant: https://sites.google.com/site/gowebuitoolkit/