> Some times I feel even seriously guilty wasting so much energy thinking/reading about it.
It's your energy, so if you find it worthwhile then that's all that matters.
I sometimes feel the same way regarding my passion for computer science, when there are so many immediate problems in the world (energy production, food/wealth/opportunity distribution, war, etc.).
The good news is that you're having such guilty thoughts at all; that makes you more conscientious than if you didn't! You're also devoting that energy to a meaningful topic, compared to cultural norms like sports, celebrities, fashion, etc.
If you feel like there's nothing to show for your efforts, maybe you could try writing down some of your thoughts. They wouldn't have to be "correct", as long as they're intellectually honest; that would provide a progression of ideas, offer insight into the learning process, etc. and maybe you can look back over them to either find inspiration in ideas you'd forgotten, or be able to look at your old questions and know that you've found answers to some of them.