I'd disagree with your statement that "the van isn't a big deal" in your last sentence.
If you feel that you have to be upfront with everyone about living in a van, it sort of becomes an enormous part of your identity, which I would call a big deal.
If you feel that you have to be upfront with everyone about living in a van, it sort of becomes an enormous part of your identity, which I would call a big deal.
Some people (especially programmers) use the expression "it's not a big deal" to indicate something is straightforward (when you're thinking about it correctly), not to quantify its importance.
It doesn't really matter because with dating - you only need to win once.