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At the last 4 startups I joined, when I asked about number of shares, valuation, etc after getting my options agreement, the owners treated the info like the nuclear launch codes, or that I was asking something deeply personal and I should feel bad about thinking about asking.

Note: I am poor.

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They are cheating you, they want to keep you poor.

The correct answers are: "We don't give you options, we give you RSUs and they start vesting after 90 days. Here's the cap table"

Anything else is screwing you. Unless, course the RSUs are for preferred shares, that's real what it should be, but common seems a reasonable compromise given that investors think a dollar from them is worth more than a dollar from an employee and should be preferred.

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