OP- it sounds like you are experiencing a high level of anxiety & depression. Speaking from similar experience, the world can look very bleak at times. And interviews can be very stressful.

Definitely counseling & medication can help. Please know that your worthiness is not defined by your job, or your position. Try to imagine yourself talking to a son/daughter and what you might say to them if they shared the same thoughts with you. sometimes we are hardest on ourselves.

Please listen to the other good advice in this thread.