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Comment by bollockitis | Hacker News Reader

> You can also try to leverage the feeling to stop yourself from wasting those 50+ hours rewatching Game of Thrones and instead putting that time into becoming more like someone who you perceive as being less mediocre than yourself.

Isn't that the point, though? You could spend those 50+ hours struggling to do something to pull yourself out of mediocrity yet still end up frustrated, defeated, and unhappy. For some people -- perhaps even most -- watching Game of Thrones again might just make them happier. I see nothing wrong with that. It's the relentless drive to achieve fame, wealth, importance, that can lead many to depression, constant self-criticism, and unhappiness. Choosing to spend that time on something enjoyable, even if to you it seems unworthy of your time, is a fine way to enjoy the fruits of one's labor.

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Spending some time doing R&R might set the creative juices flowing. Over-focusing on one single problem might lead to burnout and then anxiety and the feeling of being mediocre. Humans have a few basic needs, and excelling at work is just one of them, if we ignore the others we might sabotage even the one we care explicitly about. It is good to switch back and forth between work, learning and just being passive and enjoying your senses.

I've got to the point where I don't feel comfortable unless I'm working of sideprojects or otherwise improving myself during my 'leisure' time. Even commenting here is me fooling myself that hacker news is 'productive' :(

from the outside, this approach creates tremendous success in life in long term. from the inside, it can easily lead to state of never-being-really-happy since there is always next thing to chase or learn. be careful there

in the end i do believe we all want to be happy, and this translates into many things (work success, affirmation of peers, creating family, adventures etc).

Fwiw, this isn't an approach as much as a troubling situation I have found myself in, where I get no enjoyment out of anything, and constantly feel the pressure to keep a roof over my head, and stave off the crises of age that is in everyone's future.

I've tried pills and therapy, but ultimately I've come to the realization that you can't medicate and therapize reality away, and the best way forward is acceptance that life is work, and work is life, and that 'work/life balance' is for kept housewives and millionaires, and people who are going to be going to be very desperate in their old age :(

You are probably better off than 95% of the population of your country. You can have a roof over your head, and food in your belly, for less than $20k per year. Surely you have enough confidence in your skills that you should be able to manage this salary?

Have you lived on $20k a year? It's desperation. You are constantly waiting for the next shoe to drop. Forget about medical costs, forget about the fact that anywhere you can do this is an unpleasant place to live, and far from everything. $20k a year and old age? There's a reason for the skyrocketing suicide rate of men in their fifties and sixties right now.

All I want for retirement is the same lifestyle I have now. Anyone who thinks that it's going to be somehow easier to live with less when they get older is fooling themselves. If you won't live like that now, you won't want to live like that later; you are just pushing the burden off onto your future self.

> All I want for retirement is the same lifestyle I have now.

So you are ultimately content with your current lifestyle?

You could always change it. There are people who lived for $5 a year if I recall correctly, for years[1].

What you feel and what you call "reality" is actually just an illusion. You can get away from it. Simply knowing that there are people who made it gave me enough hope and confidence to persevere through the shittiest times this society made me go through.

The way we live nowadays we have no time to really reflect on anything. Even if we feel the stereotypes and expectations of a society don't align with us very well and that we'd like to challenge them we have no time to come up with a plan. This is certainly a problem, but once you realize that there are totally different ways of living - that you can get away from it all - it becomes much easier to come up with and make small adjustments, which will make us happier over time.

[1] Ran Prieur, see http://www.ranprieur.com/essays/dropout.html for a quick taste and please go read the rest of his essays later. I have tremendous respect for the guy; he offers a completely different perspective on our society and lives according to it. Oh, and also sometimes comments on HN.

> since there is always next thing to chase or learn. be careful there

That's what I feel is missing from all the posts and books recommending constantly improving yourself. They mostly focus on the effects, which are not the (main) point in my opinion at all.

When you're climbing a mountain, the moment you step on top of it may feel cathartic, but is it really worth it if you hate climbing? Remember that there's also a way down; how much of your euphoria will remain if you hate every moment of your descent?

Constantly improving and getting better at something is only worth it if you enjoy the process.

>Constantly improving and getting better at something is only worth it if you enjoy the process.

Or if you want to stay employable in a technology job :|

Or if you need to distinguish yourself in a world where everyone is living paycheck to paycheck, and consequently content to take a salary that doesn't account for retirement.

I did that for many years. It made me better at my craft, at least until the next "big new way of thinking" comes around. I've recently stopped when I've come to the realization how precious time and experiencing good health is.

You only have so many days on this earth. Don't sell them all to someone else on the pretense that it makes you be able to sell them all to someone else for a little more money.

I'm mostly concerned that I'll be destitute when I'm too old to get hired. And hiring in software development is cutthroat, unless you are happy grinding out meaningless widgets to mostly line someone else's pocket.

Nobody around me seems to give this a second thought though. I don't see how they aren't setting themselves up for misery in the long run.

Honestly, in the US, you will be destitute unless you are immensely wealthy. Nursing homes cost $100K a year today, imagine what they will cost when it's your time to be in one. Insurance doesn't cover it, neither does Obamacare. If you go the Medicaid route, they will take all your income and assets minus your house and car, assuming they are paid for.

It gets depressing fast, enjoy it as much as you can until that day comes.

The question I always ask myself is "what do I really want?". Is what makes me happy finishing X project, or do I really want to finish X project so I can enjoy Y guilt-free? Doing it out of joy or guilt? For me, I've become a lot more consciousness of when I'm doing project-type stuff because I genuinely find it interesting and fulfilling, or I'm just pushing through so I can check a box.

I spend a few weekends implementing something that might save lots of time at work, mostly done now. If it works and is as useful as I believe, I'll ask for time off to compensate.

I don't do this to excel. Maybe I just don't have enough individual competitive spirit; too much of Nordic group orientation.

I can tell you this is the most fun work I did for a long time. I don't have to stress or cut corners, I can do things as they should be done.

(Maybe I just need another job?)

In my experience, my ability to handle stress is already lowered considerably after work. Learning something new afterwards by trying implement a ToDo app or build something that might make money (in my case) can add stress.

Don't get me wrong, I've learned tons of new stuff and I really like it. It even comes with some benefits. But we can't ignore how stressful it can be pre-finished product. Usually the rush comes after it finally works.

Now add on top of that a wife who doesn't want me at a computer, but instead doing something with her. Honestly, during those times when that one piece just doesn't work right, I prefer to not be debugging too. Yes I have the option to walk away, but then it never get's finished.

My point, it makes sense why so many of us, even very talented ones, aren't cranking out apps in our spare time. We'd rather do something enjoyable for a change and have healthy relationships.

I applaud anyone who both manages to enjoy their job, excel at it and have someone that's cool with you doing that thing when you get home too.

I don't think my situation is different -- I did write that to do things right at work was such a sublime and motivating experience, that I did it with my free time... :-(

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