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It's not direct opposition because they aren't measuring the same ends.

> in order to help people realize that they can do better

vs

> in order to help people feel happy (via optimism)

I think an effective compromise would be to make all feedback (positive and negative) impersonal, specific, and temporal.

"You are a hard-working person, and it will take you far in life" -- personal, general, permanent feedback that promotes a growth mindset.