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Comment by bjg | Hacker News Reader

Playing it safe and taking the amazing job I have lined up.

Moving to a place with little to no tech jobs and putting it all on the line for a chance at happiness with a girl.

Pick the girl. There are always more jobs. You can always move later for professional fulfillment. You're less likely to have the opposite work out.

How are you estimating those probabilities? I would say there are easily as many eligible girls as there are jobs you're qualified for.

I think for the girl is bad. Because whenever one side has to sacrifice something for the relationship, it usually creates this uneasy sentiment where anytime anything goes bad the person who had to give something up would be like, I SACRIFICED <BLAH> FOR YOU!

Thank you. That is epic. FWIW, I vote girl.

Play it safe. If the girl was worth it, she'd accommodate you.

Aren't you neglecting to consider the (in these days, very real) chance that it is worth him accommodating the girl, rather than the other way around?

Both he and she could have substantial reasons making it worth being accommodated by the other. I wouldn't assume that only the boy is worth accommodating - especially since he's in tech, where there's a lot more flexibility than usual for working remotely, etc.

Working relationships are about compromise. Without compromise all you're left with is parasitism. Take this morsel of wisdom from a happily married man.

But why should she compromise for him? By your wisdom shouldn't there be mutual compromise?

I'm picking entrepreneurship over the girl.

I have a heuristic - never make a big life decision for the sake of a romantic situation. Romances should work within the context of everything else you have going on. I'm almost positive my life would be full of much more trouble, and not much more romance, if I didn't follow this rule. But it could just be me. I would make an exception if I'd known the girl very well for a while and seriously thought she was likely the one.

+1 vote for job.

both might fail, but you can keep one on your cv. more fun to be frustrated in love, than in career... right? ;)

Not really inclined to play it safe. Why can't she accommodate you, though? Still, I'd probably try for the girl.

there is no way that picking a girl would be such a good idea. unlike business, you can't forecast happiness from you gained from a girl based on previous data or market research. if she'll dump you the next day you'll be jobless and girl-less.

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