Don’t be a Grin Fucker
bothsidesofthetable.com
bothsidesofthetable.com
Most people aren't grin fucking you because of some inherent moral instability. They're doing it because fighting you over your idea that you're in love with isn't worth it to them. First example he gives, where Manager Bob is getting ignored -- what if the executive simply doesn't need or respect Bob's opinion? He doesn't need to prove to every non-exec that he thinks his idea is good. Unfortunate, but a fact of life in a hierarchical organization.
I like to think of myself as direct and honest, but the overwhelming social norm (at least from what I've seen, on the East Coast of the US) is to pick your battles. If you push back on everything you disagree with, you surprise people and quickly pick up a reputation as argumentative. This is especially true if you engage on issues outside your area of expertise. Programmers telling accounting how to fund benefits? HR telling programmers which hours are "proper" to work? Organizational grunts telling execs which markets to expand into? Even if the outsider is right, it's not worth the time of the expert to fight it, and they'll smile, nod, and hope you go away quickly so they can continue being productive.
By all means, you should stand up and call out the obvious bullshit, but the world is not black and white.
What I really enjoyed was the story about Accenture because I've worked with consulting firms before and they really will tell you whatever you want to hear. Even if it isn't true.
Personally, I rather get an honest response.(I also had one of those cold showers from someone and it hurt much less than I thought it would)
Unfortunately, not being a good grin fuck comes with consequences, and Mark's article is a little light on dealing with that backlash.
When you are in business, you're not there to make friends. If everyone took this attitude, there would be no corporate bullshit, no pointless niceties, no pissing about on the phone for half an hour because the other guy can't get to the point, no wondering did you get the job or not after an interview just because the HR guy or girl can't say 'no', no polite rejections by VCs that seem like something positive etc etc
(next time please use something less emotionally loaded such as "a dog eating their textbook" as your placeholder example)
(I used grannies because that's what happens in the trenches. Nobody complains about dogs any more, thanks to technology and iTech almost everything these days is electronic so the excuse threshold is a bit higher. Anything short of death or serious bodily harm doesn't cut it anymore.)