Comment by eyelidlessness | Hacker News Reader

Comment by eyelidlessness | Hacker News Reader

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This story seems to be a bit of a rorschach test. It seems that the primary rejection of what the author observed and described is preoccupied with correctness of ideas, while those of us who it touched are preoccupied with understanding why people think the way that they do.

I too reject all manner of irrational and harmful views, but I'm concerned with why so many of those views prevail. Understanding why people come to hurt one another is at the center of my attention, because I think that understanding is ammunition in reducing those tendencies.

Simply demilitarizing disagreement can go a long way toward reducing the kinds of friction that prevent people from learning and growing when they're wrong.

And more importantly, being correct is not the same as not being subject to personal growth. It's a tremendous waste to go through life knowing information that could be valuable to others and to be unable or unwilling to communicate that information to others who don't share it.

Empathy is how politics and people move together.

Fair enough, especially this bit:

> Simply demilitarizing disagreement can go a long way toward reducing the kinds of friction that prevent people from learning and growing when they're wrong.

Here's my attempt at reconciliation. I would support all of the following: withholding hostility; understanding that understanding something is not the same as condoning it; having empathy for everyone; understanding that everyone has their own reason for how they are; and making atmospheres seem less threatening to encourage more people to come forward.

But I remain slightly suspicious of the feeling of sympathy toward the world view described in the article. Empathy, certainly. But I still say it's condescending to pity someone like that before they've taken the slightest steps toward self-correction.

I have to admit that I was brought to tears reading her story. I don't sympathize with her opinion on abortion, I strongly disagree with it. But I felt her hardship and her candor when offered space to admit her personal motivations. I felt them despite being unmoved from my own opinions.

I also have to admit that I haven't always been self aware enough to make healthy corrections for my own beliefs and attitudes. 100% of those times, I've grown more with the support of people who showed care and compassion despite the flaws in my reaction to the world I find myself in.

I have to constantly remind myself that we're all in a wilderness. Nothing of importance comes easy to everyone. Nearly every person can grow, given the right conditions. And working toward making those conditions available to more people is worthwhile.

Indeed. I'm saddened by the number of people I see who don't seem to understand that being right is not a substitute for being persuasive.

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