Comment by 5350-uiop-1130 | Hacker News Reader

Comment by 5350-uiop-1130 | Hacker News Reader

I'm 32 and I've had similar thoughts at least since I was 27. A kind of existential crisis tinged with deep boredom and non-clinical depression.

I've found 3 things that have helped me deal with my depression/boredom:

1. Have things to look forward to:

Always, always find things to anticipate and look forward to in the short and long term. Whether it is something small, like a treat at the end of the day or something big like a vacation or short trip away.

2. Side projects & working towards self-employment.

Ultimately, the aim is to be the master of my own time. I no longer have to wake up at 8am because I HAVE to but because I (may) WANT to. This for me is so important. To be the master of my time. I'm 32 now, if I'm lucky to live to 70 you can say that I have about 14-20 years of productive time in me. I want to use it for myself.

3. Spirituality.

I know that this isn't for everyone. Personally, I find religion and spirituality helps me to cope with every day issues. It gives me strength where I might otherwise just find a gaping void of pointless-ness into which to fall.

I hope this helps you. As mentioned by another comment try to avoid alcohol. You won't find the answers you need a the bottom of a bottle.

  > 3. Spirituality.
  > I know that this isn't for everyone.

Or philosophy, for the non-religious. If you know nothing about it (like myself) I suggest starting here (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwxNMb28XmpfEr2zNKQfU...) then pick up a book or two.

Do you have a family? A family, an SO or kids is the best way to understand life through other perspectives.

No, but I plan to start one soon. It's true that having children gives you a new perspective on life.

They (children) also change your priorities (...and time, plans, budget...whole life)

Most people don't find meaning in the raising of children. It changes your life a lot, but if you feel like your life is aimless and you're just on autopilot, you'll probably feel the same after having kids. It's rare for a person to define their purpose in terms of their kids and be happy about that. Most people still want to have a self-actualized purpose.

Stack Overflow is definitely the best way to understand life through other perspectives

SO = Significant Other, i.e., a partner.

It makes more sense calling Stack Overflow "SO" than calling your spouse that.

Depends who spends more time with you in your life ;) I'm with my SO more than I read the website, for sure (which is minimal or rarely).

Also, the term "significant other" can mean more than spouse (which implies marriage): [boy|girl]friend, life partner, close-friend-kind-of-person, etc.

Getting married and/or having kids is a terrible way to try to address existential boredom. A spouse will not give your life purpose. Kids probably won't either, and if it turns out that you are unhappy and resentful after your failed attempt to solve your boredom, you can easily screw up your kids' lives (and screw up your own life, because kids are not a short-term commitment).

Have kids because you want them. Not because you think they'll give your life purpose.

> Getting married and/or having kids is a terrible way to try to address existential boredom.

Starting or growing a family is a terrible way to solve problems.

If interaction with kids seems like a good use of time, start by volunteering with mentoring organizations like Big Brother/Big Sister or Boys and Girls Clubs. Or help out with the kids programs at church/temple/synagogue if you're into organized religion.

If that pans out well, consider babysitting for foster families. Foster parents do incredible amounts of good for society and get run into the ground in the process. It seems simple, but giving them a night off here and there is a huge help.

If that goes well, then maybe consider adopting or starting a family. At any rate, there are a lot of young people out there that could use positive (especially male!) role models.

> Spirituality

I rediscovered being a member of a dojo. Combines some elements of spirituality / higher purpose together with some pretty awesome exercise endorphins. It's like church, but without the god thing.

> It's like church, but without the god thing.

That's like saying it's like an omelette without eggs or soup without water.

"Going to church" is much more than worship of a god-being. Being part of a community is important. Church helps with that.

This is absolutely what I mean--having a group that cuts across a different set of sociodemographic characteristics than I otherwise encounter regularly. The shared struggle of the whole thing also makes it a pretty close-knit group.

> omelette without eggs or soup without water

Those sound like interesting recipes to me. Water is fine though, as long as it isn't fluoridated.

There is a higher purpose involved, it's just not a deity. A church is a society wound around a higher purpose.

You might not be aware of the fact that there ARE godless religions - for example buddism.

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